I may look good on paper. I may say all the right things in this blog. But believe me, I have incredible shortcomings.
On a daily basis, my wife kicks my butt in parenting. There is no comparison. I am a Single A ballplayer and she is not only in the Major Leagues, she is all-star, Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera.
But I am smart enough to know parenting my two children will be the most important job I have in life.
That’s why I have made a very difficult career decision. I am leaving my job of only six months and returning to my old job, which provides far more flexibility to deal with Tyson’s medical issues.
Caring for Tyson has been more challenging than we thought. The main problem right now is he still must be fed through a tube, eight times a day, with each feed taking 30-45 minutes. This could go on for a few months. He has fallen off the growth charts and voluntarily eats only about a third of what he should in a normal day.
On top of that, he has numerous doctor’s visits. His regular cardiac appointments are sometimes three hours long, and we will soon add therapy sessions.
We’ve been lucky that my wife had the summer off from teaching, but, now that she has returned, those appointments will fall primarily on me.
As you can imagine, this is likely too much for a child care provider who might be caring for five other kids at the same time. Even our provider, the super Ms. Amber, might struggle with this assignment. So we had to come up with a plan to nurse him to normal.
We examined three options: my wife taking a year off work, hiring professional help and asking my mom for assistance.
If my wife took a year off work, it would hurt us financially and she would have no guarantee of getting her specific job back when she returned. Not a good option.
Hiring professional help would be expensive and mean leaving Tyson with a stranger. Not a good option.
Asking my mom for help would cost us some food and gas money and put Tyson in the care of someone who knows him and loves him. A good option.
My mom has agreed to this. She is an angel; I’ve counted on her all my life and she always comes through. My brother will play a huge part, too, making it financially possible for her to be away from her day job. He’s a hero in this story, too.
But my mom lives four hours away. It is a tough drive for a 64-year-old woman and then she has to care for an infant. We need to find ways to give her breaks. Plus, we really need a parent at these doctor’s appointments.
So I am going to fill the gaps.
My old job is 15 minutes from my house and 5 minutes from Children’s Hospital. I have four months of accumulated sick time there from rarely taking a sick day (they allow you to accumulate and roll over). I also am able to use sick time to deal with my child’s illness, something I do not have at my current job, which requires sick time only for the employee’s illness.
While my new employer has been super great regarding this whole Tyson thing and very flexible, I’ve only been here long enough to accumulate six days of sick time. And I am more than a half hour away from home and the hospital, adding more time away from work to those long doctor’s appointments.
When you add up the pros and cons, it is simply much easier for me to be a caregiver for Tyson while working the old job instead of the new job.
I liked working at CVG and will miss my colleagues. I’m burdened with a heavy heart to leave them in such a lurch, but sometimes you have to be selfish. Those who work closest with me understand.
I’m very lucky I am in a position to go back. JFS could have filled my position as soon as I left, but, somehow, it was still open at the time I came to the conclusion going back would be a good option for me. Perhaps that is a little divine intervention.
It is an unexpected career detour, but it works. One, I always liked the job and the people I worked with, so I am not going back to a bad situation. Two, it is what my son needs from me now.
Like I said, I’ll never make the Fatherhood Hall of Fame. But I am sure as hell going to step to the plate when called upon.