Tyson the Warrior

 

 

                                                                Tyson today

The past two days have been quite a blur.

From the gut-wrenching handoff to the surgery team early Monday morning, to the euphoria of the surgeon arriving seven hours later to tell us the operation was successful, to the shocking reality of seeing the damage to my son’s body, to the alternating hope and worry that comes with watching him struggle to recover, I am emotionally drained.

I am, however, the happiest I have been since we found out in February that Tyson had this serious heart condition. Since then, we’ve been trudging up a hill that we dreaded climbing, realizing the summit contained a surgery that put my child’s life at risk. Now that the surgery is over, I feel like we are coasting down the other side of the hill.

I was happier at 4 p.m. Monday than I was the day he was born. His birth day was filled with worry over whether he would need immediate surgery and whether he would survive. On Monday, after hearing positive news from Surgeon Roosevelt Bryant III, a gentle giant whose hands are as big as Tyson’s whole 8-pound body, I was walking on air.

Euphoric.

An hour later, I was sick to my stomach at seeing what looked like my son’s corpse in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit.

Those are the highs and lows of the past 50 hours or so.  

If you are interested, I will try to quickly catch you up:

We arrived at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. Monday. Tyson was appropriately dressed in his Massillon Tigers outfit, ready to do battle. I also played Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger while they did some pre-surgery checks. (Hey, it worked for Rocky and it works – about 80 percent of the time – for my legendary high school football program, the Massillon Tigers.)

Yes, I was pulling out all the stops. This was serious. I needed my son to gear up for battle.

                                                                Tyson pre-surgery

Dr. Bryant stopped and spoke to us. This was my first chance to meet him. He’s about 6-foot-5 and solidly built, not skinny. I immediately pegged him as a defensive end on the football field.

He was alert and happy, despite it being so early. He spoke gently and confidently.

He seemed ready for this fight.

 

Handing Tyson off to the surgery team may have been the most difficult thing we’ve ever done. Not ashamed to admit I was crying. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure we’d get him back.

 

 

                                                          Saying Goodbye

After that, they ushered us into a private waiting room. They have one room they keep for the surgery that is the day’s longest and most serious. We won the prize on Monday and the reward was a fairly decent-sized room with comfortable chairs and a TV all to ourselves. I was thankful, because the main waiting room was filled with about 50 people.

We (Brooke, my mom and I) spent the time reading books and surfing the web. We didn’t even turn on the TV. I knew the Royals were welcoming a baby across the pond, but seriously, who the hell cares? Didn’t we fight a whole war so we wouldn’t have to worry about the British monarchy?

I was nervous, but I didn’t show it. I never show it. No use in getting others worked up with my anxiety.

They told us the surgery would be 4-6 hours, so we knew we were in for a long day. They did explain to us that at some point, when the surgery was completed, they would take us to a conference room and give us all the details. I told my wife that the whole conference room speech was a cover so we would think it routine and not panic as they shuffled us back to a private spot where they could deliver the ultimate bad news.

My mind is trained to consider the worse. I was convinced that if they took us to the conference room, they were going to tell me my son had died. I didn’t want to go to the conference room.

As the surgery progressed, they called us or met with us personally about every hour and a half to provide an update. All the updates were positive.

About 1:30, the nurse came in to tell us they were wrapping up and the surgeon would be in to see us shortly. She said everything went smoothly.

We were ecstatic. I can’t even describe in words the relief that went through that room.

An hour later, Dr. Bryant arrived. He explained the surgery was more challenging because Tyson is so small – they usually like to wait until the baby is double his size to perform this procedure, but Tyson was too sick and couldn’t wait. With the huge hands this guy has, I can only imagine how difficult it was working on my boy’s tiny heart.

But, he concluded, he felt everything went well and Tyson could avoid future surgeries. Ultimately, he could lead a normal life and even run marathons if he wanted.

(By the way, he delivered this news in the waiting room, not a conference room, kind of confirming my assumptions.)

I was so happy, I asked him to take a picture with my wife. You have to know me to know how out of character that is. I’m the kind of guy who could be eating dinner at the table next to Justin Timberlake and wouldn’t even say hello because I don’t like imposing on people. I don’t like to be bothered and I don’t like bothering other people, but this was a moment I had to capture.

 

 

                                              The Gentle Giant, Roosevelt Bryant III

They told us to wait about an hour as they got him all hooked up in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit and they would call us up.

They did not call for a couple of hours, which, of course, made us wonder if something was wrong. But we were still so happy that when we did get the call, we rode the elevator grinning ear-to-ear.

Then, I saw a horrifying sight that turned my stomach. Tyson looked like a corpse.

He was lying on the table, pale and unsettlingly still. He was attached to a million wires. His eyes were open, but there was no life in them. They’d been coated with a glaze to keep them moist.

I almost turned around and walked out of the room. It was heartbreaking.

 

                                                        Our first glimpse

But somehow, they convinced us this was normal for this type of surgery and that he was actually doing ok. (I'm not so sure on that. I have a friend who works in a hospital and he said that was the most wires he has ever seen on a kid.)

We accepted them at their word and settled in for a bedside vigil that they tell us will probably last about 10 days, if all goes well.

And it seems to be going ok. He has not had problems with his heart, but he has been struggling with his lungs. He’s even had a collapse. Several times, he’s been clogged up and stopped breathing for a few seconds, leading them to “bag” him.

Scary stuff.

They hope this will stop once they take the breathing tube out, which they did this morning.  

Other than that, they tell us he is doing as well as can be expected.

The people at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center are incredible. From Dr. Bryant, to Tyson’s cardiologist, Dr. Thomas Kimball, to every nurse, therapist and other medical professional we have encountered, this place is top notch. I know we had scheduling problems last week, but that is water under the bridge and every one I have encountered since 6:30 a.m. Monday morning has been tremendous.

We have a long way to go. Tyson will need to fully recover and that will take some time. He’ll likely return home with his feeding tube back in. He will still have regular cardiologist’s visits and other doctor visits. Because he is developmentally behind from doing nothing but struggling and sleeping the past 11 weeks, we will enroll him in therapy.

I’m eager to see what he is like with his mended heart. Life has been such a struggle so far.  Just sitting still, he would sweat like he was in a steam room. He got to the point where he wouldn’t eat because it was too much work.

In the days leading up to the surgery, he was either sleeping or crying. In fact, he would cry so hard for a couple of hours, he would exhaust himself and fall to sleep, only to wake up a couple hours later and repeat the cycle.

I’m eager to see his real disposition. I’m eager to see him happy and carefree.

I’m eager to meet my “real” son for the first time.

This I know: he is the toughest little 8-pound boy in the land.         

Life at 45: Hangovers Without Alcohol

My, how my life has changed.

Let’s look at a typical Friday in the life of Brian Gregg at…

Age 20:  Every college student who likes to get his “party on” schedules classes to end as early as possible on Fridays. If I could have somehow taken all the classes I needed to get my journalism degree on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I would have.

I’d meet up with my roommates early Friday afternoon and bust out a “suitcase” of Old Milwaukee. Every group of young guys has that “go-to” cheap beer that they rely on when money is a factor. Old Mildoggy was ours.

If it was nice out, we played wiffle ball in the yard of our apartment complex while polishing off our brews. I was the king of hitting Bonds-esque homers over the building across the complex. Let’s face it, I had a Barry Bonds-like physique – at least in the later, blown-up, steroid-scandal, Michelin Man years.

Wiffle ball was always cool, but we mostly invented our own games to keep us occupied while drinking.  We had something called “handy ball,” which consisted of batting a Nerf basketball around while drinking.  Think volleyball without a net. The person who let the ball fall needed to guzzle.

In our dorm room, we invented a baseball game that used a crushed beer can as a ball. We wore real baseball gloves and used a makeshift bat to hit the can. It is amazing what you can do with beer cans. Someone I know made a coffee table out of Old Milwaukee cans. They also make great Christmas tree ornaments.

We’d jam Springsteen while we played. These were the years of Madonna and Prince, but my roommate, Pat, turned me on to Springsteen and I wanted to be a little harder than my 20-year-old counterparts. Material Girl, my ass.

About 11, we’d head to the bars. We spent part of our freshman and sophomore years doing cheap happy hours where we would drink 5-cent cups of Black Label (a Canadian beer, I think) for hours, but quickly realized this life was not for us after several nights ended by 11 p.m. with us lying in bed holding a trash can to our face.

Down at the bars, we’d make our play for “ladies.” This generally consisted of standing around talking to the few female friends we had (we rarely were bold enough to migrate outside our own circle) hoping we could convince one to go home with us. About once every two months or so, we’d get lucky.

On the way home, we’d spend our last $2 on a gyro from a guy who probably put three children through college by running a food cart outside the Kent State bars. Then we’d do an after party and drink Old Milwaukees until we passed out.

The next day, I usually had a hangover.

Age 25: This was my golden age. No longer bound by the constraints of money and not yet held down by the affects of age, I spent my 20s living a Hugh Hefner lifestyle. Blessed with a shift where I covered the police beat from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m, I was able to do all that a young man should do: get off work in time to go to the bars, party all night, sleep late and spend my mornings playing basketball and softball to stay in shape. I worked in a one-man news bureau my first year and even had a cot in the office so I could take a nap if I had a particularly tough night.

My buddies and I would spend our Friday nights at a place called the Quark, grooving to tunes that would make Springsteen cry. Hammer Time. Ice, Ice Baby. I like big butts and I cannot lie… Sorry, Boss.

Most of us would stand at the edge of the dance floor and hope some woman we barely knew would be drunk enough to take a liking to us. I hoped for slow dances, because my actual dancing resembled an epileptic seizure.

About once a month, we’d get lucky.

On the way home, we’d hit up Uncle Nick’s gyros to eat while watching late night television until we passed out.

The next day, I usually had a hangover.

Age 30: Age starts taking its toll on me here. I can no longer treat a weeknight like a Friday night because the next day at work feels like a ride on a Kings Island roller coaster. Also, despite my once-a-week basketball games, the pounds start to accumulate toward Michelin Man status.

I’m back to doing happy hours. That’s because I hope to be in bed by midnight, although most of the time I still see closing time. I’m mostly hanging in bars that play classic rock, because the music of the mid-1990s was horrendous. Mariah Carey? Celine Dion? The freaking Macarena??? Put a bullet in my head. 

I’m also back to primarily hitting on women who are somehow in my circle. Women at this age usually want to have some knowledge of who the guy is before they head home with him. I’m getting lucky about once every two months, just like in college.

On the way home from the bars, I stop at the sandwich cart for a barbeque pork sandwich, mostly to suck up the alcohol. I hit the bed as soon as I walk in the door and hope for the best the next morning. If I mixed in enough glasses of water throughout the night, I avoid the hangover.

Age 35: Girlfriends have always come and gone, but at this age, I am doing a lot more “dating.” Let’s face it, that is the only way I am getting lucky. Friday nights consist of a nice dinner, glasses of wine, maybe a trip to a comedy club or to hear some live music. I’m getting lucky almost every other weekend! Of course, with the same woman or two.

I don’t eat on the way home because I already stuff too many calories into this body. I’m usually in bed by midnight. Hangovers are rarely a problem.

Age 40: Serious girlfriend time. Dating a girl 15 years my junior. That means returning to my glory years. Pretty much guaranteed getting lucky every weekend!

I start each Friday with a pre-game at her or her friend’s house, drinking a higher-class beer than Old Milwaukee, usually some micro-brew that makes me look cool to her friends who are still drinking cheap beer because that is all they can afford. We head out to some dance club and listen to horrible music. Justin Timberlake? John Mayer?  Who the hell is Jesse McCartney? Was that Justin Bieber’s older brother?

We make it to closing time most weekends. On the way home, we hit Taco Bell. This is fun. But I am too old for this. It only takes a few months for me to say, “Honey, how about if you go out with your friends by yourself and I will be here when you get home.” Then I watch TV and hit the sack after the 11 p.m. SportsCenter. No drinks, no hangover.

Age 45: Well, here it is.

I get home from work about 5:30 and my wife wants to know if we should order a pizza. The big debate is if we have enough money for something like that. Every penny counts now. Bars are out of the question.  

Music? The only music we listen to are the lullabies that play on Sydney’s swing. Getting lucky? Yeah, like back in college, about every two months. Who has the energy?

I spend my evening playing with my daughter, trying to keep her stimulated and away from crying. This usually requires my total attention, so there is not a lot of time for say, writing a blog post, or watching a DVR-d episode of Man vs. Food, which, at this point, I could star in and win every challenge.

My wife and I pass her back and forth like a football, sharing the "stimulating duties." For some reason, she is generally quiet and happy when my wife has her. I get the screaming and crying Sydney. Roses for Brooke, thorns for Brian.

We get to bed whenever we get to bed. My daughter sets her own schedule. She usually sleeps a couple hours and then is up a couple of hours. All day long. All...night...long.

I never leave the house, yet I am worn the hell out.

The next day, I have a “baby” hangover.