Random Observations About Sydney

As I have said before, all of my posts are about my personal life, but I try to make them topical so they appeal to all through the experiences we share as we travel through life. A man’s take on breastfeeding. Picking a name. Life in the delivery room. These are personal experiences, but we all experience them, so you can read what I am going through and identify with my situation.

Rarely do I do a totally personal post. So, indulge me today. Someday, my baby will read this and I want her to know what she was like when she was young.

Observations about my little girl:

·         Even at 5 months, she can throw a mean fit. She likes to throw herself backwards when she is angry. So, if she is sitting in your arms, she lays herself flat. With violence. This means you REALLY have to hold her or she will throw herself out of your arms and on to the floor. This better not translate into a child who throws herself on the floor when she is a toddler and throwing a fit. Daddy won’t tolerate that. Whip city, baby!

In fact, I wonder if she has anger issues. Have you ever heard of those children who have incredible outbursts of anger and their parents can’t seem to control them? I always thought that was the result of bad parenting, but now I am wondering. Here are some of the things she does:

o   Sometimes she gets so excited when she doesn’t get her way she grabs my face and tries to scratch my eyeballs out. My wife – the eternal optimist -- says she is so happy, she wants to “eat my face.” I am not so sure. 1) she doesn’t sound happy and 2) she is literally digging at my eyes. I’ve ticked a lot of people off in my life. I guess I am just starting early with her.

o   She likes to kick me in the face when she is sitting on my chest. I’m ok with this now, but, as she gets older and starts wearing shoes, it might hurt a bit. She definitely has a future in the Rockettes. Or, as an NFL placekicker.

o   She also kicks to move herself. She’s learned that if she is on her back and she puts both of her legs together and kicks down as hard as she can, it actually moves her butt an inch or so. If she does this many times in a row, she can actually move herself in a clockwise direction. This is how we find her sleeping sideways in her bed every morning. She loves to greet the morning with a dozen or so “kicks” to get herself moving.  

o   When she gets frustrated, she emits this throaty growl at the top of her lungs. I swear she is going to damage her vocal cords. But, yes, it serves its purpose and gets mom and dad’s attention.

·         She emits a different noise when she is excited, a high-pitched squeal that will hurt your ears if you hear it enough. And thirty times in a one-hour period is enough, believe me. She could have a future as a tornado siren.

·         Her nails grow like crazy. My wife seems to clip them once every couple of days. I am not privy to biological information about baby nails, but apparently they grow faster than adult nails. This is a very important thing to note when your daughter regularly tries to scratch your eyes out.

·         She curls her fists up and puts them up by her ears and rubs her hair a bit while she falls asleep. I think she might have had her fists curled up while in the womb, because she is constantly poised to fight someone, with her dukes up. She could have a future as a boxer.

·         If she cries, she is likely either hungry or tired. It doesn’t take a lot to figure a baby out. They are a pretty easy read. She will not have a future as a poker player.

·         If she cries, I can always calm her by slowing saying the ABCs or counting to 20. I started this when she was really little as a way of slowly teaching her. (My wife’s the teacher of the family? I think not.) But I quickly realized she was fascinated by this and stops whatever she is doing to pay attention. Thus, the crying stops when the ABCs start.

·         She smiles every morning when I go into her room to pull her from the crib. I mean, her face LIGHTS up. This is a highlight of the day and has my wife and I knocking each other over to be the one who greets her in the morning.

·         She also sneezes when she wakes up. It seems almost like the light hitting her face makes her sneeze. Can’t explain that one.

·         She has not yet learned the art of kissing. As you lean it to kiss her, she greets you with an open mouth. This is cute now; it will not be when she is 16 and on her first date. There will be no french kissing on my watch.

·         She loves to smoke cigarettes. Not really. I just wanted to see how many people really read to the end. If you did, please acknowledge the joke.