Happy Valentine's Day to a New Mom

It is Valentine’s Day and this blog post is dedicated to my wife. She and my daughter are the greatest things to ever happen to me.

Look, I’m not a mushy kind of guy. I don’t do a lot of hand holding, kissing, snuggling, etc. I won’t read you poems or set up outside your bedroom window holding a boom box, ala Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything.  

My wife probably goes through life wondering why the hell she ever married me, let alone brought my child into this world.

But I am the most loyal SOB you’ll ever meet. Forget Lassie finding help for Timmy in the well. I would have NEVER LET TIMMY FALL IN THE WELL. I once volunteered to get laid off from work so a boss I liked could keep his job. He had a family; I didn't.

Once you are in with me, you are in for life.

So, I show my love through loyalty. Hard work. Sacrifice. I brush the snow off her car in the morning. I let her pick the restaurant. I try to give her a break when she is stressed.

Not exactly Hallmark stuff. I know what my wife is thinking. “Can’t a girl get a box of chocolates?”

When I was young, I believed in the two-kids-and-a-dog, white-picket-fence sort of life. Not that I ever had it, but it was the ideal.

I had four serious girlfriends before my wife. My high school girlfriend dumped me when I went off to college to make a better life for us. She got the two kids and white picket fence, just with my former best friend. BITTER.

My college girlfriend had a career start in Cleveland. Mine was near Chicago. She apparently didn’t think long distance would work. BITTER. My first girlfriend out of college didn’t survive my next career move, to Cincinnati. This time, I didn’t feel long distance would work. GUILTY.

I had a girlfriend in my late 20s. We even lived together. The flame burned hot, but short, incinterating after three years.

These experiences added to my cynicism of marriage. There weren’t a lot of happy marriages in my extended family. I didn’t need my own failures to tell me commitments rarely last. But they sure solidified that thinking.   

So I get to my 30s and then into my 40s, and I’ve pretty much given up on the white picket fence.  I was a confirmed bachelor, living the life. And by “life” I mean, pizza, potato skins and beer. Late nights, sleepy days. A lot of couch and television, very little exercise. The “life” was probably going to end by age 50. I was Whitney Houston without the prescription drugs.

Then, along comes Brooke. Her fun approach to life, her optimistic attitude, her love of dogs, her care for disabled children….it all won me over. She has a tremendous heart and is simply a really good person.

An example: she dipped my daughter’s feet in some sort of  red ink, put them together in the shape of a heart and hand-made valentines to give to our parents and our child care provider. She essentially turned our little daughter into a valentine. How do you not love someone who thinks up something like that?  

It did take awhile. Our love was a slow burn. I don’t trust a lot of people. But once she was in, she was in.

I could sit here and tell you a million reasons why she means the world to me. But I will sum it up with one: Sydney Grace Gregg. This is, after all, a blog about fatherhood.

Not only did my wife get me to believe in the white picket fence, she convinced me to father this precious child. I am a better man for it.

I’m a glass-half-empty kind of guy. I only saw the burdens that children bring. Brooke only saw the joys. Now, because of her, I get to experience those joys. I’m a new man at 45 and, not only do I hope to live past 50, I pray to make it to 80.

Children really do bring out the best in you. I’d step in front of a speeding train to protect my daughter. I’d do the same for my wife. She’s earned that loyalty.

She reads my blog, but this will be a bit of a surprise for her. I hope it makes her Valentine’s Day a good one. Especially since I didn’t buy her anything.

I’m not really an easy guy to live with. I’m argumentative. I’m a contrarian. I rarely dust or sweep. If I don’t have anything going on, I might go a whole weekend without showering.

Yeah, I’m a hell of a catch. Stand back ladies….I’m already taken.

Somehow, she puts up with me. Somehow, she loves me.   

Thank you, Brooke. Thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for helping me believe in the white picket fence. Thank you for giving me the greatest Valentine a man can receive.

I love you.