The Big Scare

Sometimes, life isn’t funny. Sometimes, life knocks you on your ass.

I almost lost my little girl before I even got to meet her.

We had waited 12 weeks to tell people because we knew the possibility for miscarriage is strongest in the first 12 weeks. Plus, Brooke’s mom had a history of miscarriages.

But, by 17 weeks, we were pretty sure we were good to go.

Then we found out our daughter had a higher than normal chance of being afflicted with the genetic disorder Trisomy 18.

Trisomy 18 is a third copy of genetic material from chromosome 18, instead of the usual two copies. The syndrome has a very low rate of survival, resulting from heart abnormalities, kidney malformations and other internal organ disorders. Most children die in the womb. According to Wikipedia, only about 10 percent of babies live to be age 1. I don’t think any live to be adults.

Essentially, the doctors told us they would highly recommend termination if the test came back positive. They stressed that Trisomy18 pregnancies are not “viable.”

Let me tell you, hearing those words hurt. I tried my hardest to hold those tears back and be strong for my wife, but they streamed down my cheeks. Even worse, I knew how much this hurt Brooke. My heart absolutely ached for her.

The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. We have to wait a few days to take the test and then a week for the final results. How do I comfort my wife? She is so anxious she can barely function. I move from pessimist to optimist in these situations. When it is life or death, I’m always going to have faith.

I’m not going to get into the odds we faced, the discussions we had or what we ultimately would have done. I preach tolerance in my life and letting people live by their own decisions, free of my judgment. I’m not in a position to influence anyone, nor do I want to. You might do something different than us. And that’s ok.

I was at work when I got the call. I had asked that they call me and not my wife. I knew the phone number and had been looking for it, so I walked out of a meeting when the call came. I held my breath when she told me the good news.

That might have been the best call I ever made to my wife. Being able to deliver that good news was a blessing to me. I finally could do something to soothe her pain.

I even had a little fun. I told her they also discovered they had made a mistake and we were having a boy. She fell for it. When I told her the truth, she wasn’t even mad.

Nothing could break our mood. Sydney Grace was going to be alright.