Someone Has a Bag Packed and it is Not Mom or Dad

Is it possible for someone to be more excited about the birth of a child than the parents-to-be?

If so, my mom is thisclose to passing me on the excitement meter. She’s as giddy as Charlie Sheen at a pharmaceutical counter.

Yesterday, she informed me she was packing a bag so she would be ready to go to the hospital when I called.

I haven’t even packed my own bag yet. I’m not even sure if Brooke packed a bag yet.

This is not my mom’s first grandchild. She has three grandsons. But her first granddaughter has sent her into a Tasmanian Devil-like tizzy.

It started with her announcing she would quit smoking. My mom, age 62, has smoked since she was a teenager. We’ve tried a gazillion times to get her to quit over the years. She laughs at the threat of lung cancer and an early death. She hacks her way through every morning with a smile on her face. She spends the equivalent of Belgium’s Gross Domestic Product each year on cigarettes. But the announcement of a granddaughter has finally done it. She announced that she knew I DETESTED smoking and she worried it would keep her from her granddaughter, so she was quitting. She’s at eight months and counting. Way to go, mom!

Next, she visited. My mom doesn’t travel much. Even though we only live about four hours away, you’d think I’m in North Korea. She visits less than once a year. I think she has been down here two or three times since we announced the pregnancy and has tried to come a couple more times but we’ve had other commitments.

She called one day a couple weeks ago and wanted to know how long she could stay after the baby is born. She wanted to put in for vacation. How do you put in for vacation when you don’t know what day the baby will be born?

She’s also gone crazy with the gifts. An outfit here.  Some headbands there. A swaddling blanket. When it is all said and done, we’ll probably have enough presents to fill an entire crib to the rim.

It is nice to know Sydney will be surrounded by so much love. But my mom’s exuberance has me a little worried that I’M not excited enough. In fact, there are parts of this whole birth experience that have me a little worried. Both my mom and Brooke’s parents have asked how long they can stay after the birth of the baby. A sleepless wife, a crying baby, my in-laws and my mother all in my tiny house. For a week? Month? How long?

I may take up smoking.